Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 12:06 PM
To: Gregory; Randy
Subject: Doughboy Challenge Wannabe…
I respectfully request the right to enter the Doughboy Challenge. Please hold your guffaws and f–k yous for just one moment. While it may appear on the exterior that I am of the tall and slender brigade, please know that my family suffers from “skinny fat man” syndrome — a condition where you lose all muscle tone and all of your fat descends upon your trunk and butt. So, while you appear thin — or thinner — to others, in reality you carry around a large amount of excess weight. MaryBeth Clayton can vouch for the fact that while in NYC I had to leave the office as a result of splitting out not one, but two pair of dress pants on two separate occasions. Thank god for three-quarter length outerwear. You may also remember that our CEO Kim Sample noted that I have a tendency to “pork up” when in Minneapolis. This, too, is true, and alas, has already begun. In addition, the stresses of moving yet AGAIN, and my continued abuse of alcohol rather than exercise as a stress outlet have me stepping on the scales at 187 lbs — which is roughly 20 pounds over my goal weight at 5’11” and 3/4.
Will you let me play? I could use the comradery more than the calories. I am puddy in your collective hands… okay, cellulite in your collective hands. But that imagery is even too much for me, so let’s just say it’s your call. MB bears witness to my plight — and your response.
Heavily weighted, Alan