Sent: Thursday, January 15, 2009 12:28 PM
Subject: FW: Doughboy Challenge Wannabe…
Gentlemen: And I mean all of you but Gregory, but in the nicest way. You’ll note a female on the cc line. MB is our witness — and she enjoys cheap humor, so we’ll leave her there. In the spirit of community, I reached out to Gregory to participate in the Doughboy Challenge, but was swatted down like a blue bottle fly near his piece of cake! It’s okay, I can handle it. I am adult gay man. Rejection by society has been my lot in life (take THAT, Gregory). But because I DO handle rejection so well, I’m doing exactly what Gregory asked me to do — I’m hosting my OWN weight loss challenge: The Skinny FAT Man Challenge! Who would have thought I would need to create a contest for the “still overweight but less overweight,” but hey, in this PR environment, a man has to find his niche.
For your personal enjoyment — and my personal embarrassment — please scroll down to the bottom of this email to understand the impetus for this new SFM Challenge… and then read on here to understand exactly what the SFM Challenge will entail…
The Skinny FAT Man Challenge:
You’ve been fairly thin most of your life… but you looked down one day and realized that at some point, your six-pack became a keg. You’re thin across your chest (read sunken), and your legs aren’t too bad (read chicken legs, but okay in cargo shorts)… but your ass and your gut? They should never be seen out of clothes. THAT is Skinny FAT Man Syndrome. And THAT is what this challenge is about! Anyone — specifically those of the “less overweight, but still overweight” category — who wants to join me, GAME ON!
More details to come, but if each of us afflicted with Skinny FAT Man Syndrome bands together (and you know who you are… but if you don’t, just ask your significant other, and they’ll happily inform you… or ask Gregory. He doesn’t seem to have any qualms about telling you exactly which category you may fall into), we’ll have this office so full of hot men, no client will be able to concentrate on their business when they walk through our doors, and outsiders everywhere will clamor to come work for Emanate so they can join the ranks of our hotness.
Email me with interest — or ridicule — but look for more information on the Skinny FAT Man Challenge soon to come! By Memorial Day Weekend? No grill will be safe. We’ll be hot. We’ll be trim. We’ll be ripped. We’ll be Emanate MEN!
PS, and if this email somehow makes it out to the agency at large (pun intended), so be it.